What is Ordo Amoris?

 

JD VANCE: There is a Christian concept that you love your family and then you love your neighbor, and then you love your community, and then you love your fellow citizens, and then after that, prioritize the rest of the world

A lot of the far left has completely inverted that pic.twitter.com/XkoTiKgq3g

— Jack Poso 🇺🇸 (@JackPosobiec) January 30, 2025

 

Just google “ordo amoris.” Aside from that, the idea that there isn’t a hierarchy of obligations violates basic common sense. Does Rory really think his moral duties to his own children are the same as his duties to a stranger who lives thousands of miles away? Does anyone? https://t.co/otvv5g1wFN

— JD Vance (@JDVance) January 30, 2025

 

Time for a bit of seminary.

Thanks to a bit of discourse JD Vance engaged in, we have our next big question. 

What is ordo amoris?  

The Vice President appeared on Fox News to discuss the administration’s immigration policies and picked up an emergent thread in conservative circles regarding the “sin” of empathy, arguing the political left carries empathy too far and attempted to shrink the bounds of empathy to a closer circle of people.  From the quote, highlighted in the tweet above, “There is a Christian concept that you love your family and then love your neighbor, and then you love your community, and then you love your fellow citizens, and then after that, prioritize the rest of the world.”

It’s a great quote and it’s a great sound bite.  

The problem is that it is a stretch and a misstatement of the Christian concept.

As many in the subsequent days, including Vance himself, have pointed out, Vance seemed to be trying to highlight the theological concept of ordo amoris, or “ordered love”.   

The concept comes from the work of St. Augustine in The City of God.  Augustine believed that true virtue and moral goodness stem from properly aligning our affections and desires with what is truly valuable and worthy. Thus, God’s love must be centralized in reordering our affections.  Our ultimate fulfillment then lies in the pursuit of virtue and moral goodness required the proper ordering of our desires, with God as the ultimate object of love and devotion.

“But if the Creator is truly loved — that is, if He Himself is loved, and not something else in place of Him — then He cannot be wrongly loved. We must, however, observe right order even in our love for the very love by which we love that which is worthy to be loved, so that there may be in us that virtue which enables us to live well. Hence, it seems to me that a brief and true definition of virtue is ‘rightly ordered love.’” (City of God, XV.22).

We can see the genesis of Augustine’s theories in Jesus’s encapsulation of the commandments.   “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and Prophets.’”  Matthew 22:37-40.  In these two, Jesus is likewise tying the order of love together.  To love others, we must love God first, and to love God is to love our neighbor.  

C.S. Lewis described this relationship in his letters.  “To love you as I should, I must worship God as Creator. When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.” Letters of C. S. Lewis.  To do otherwise, is to create idols in one’s relationships.  We’ve all seen these.  The parents that have made idols of their children and lift of their children as the greatest importance in their lives.  The spouses that lift up their mate as their idol, prioritizing their mate to the exclusion of all else.  It’s not to say these relationships aren’t important or that making them a priority is bad.  It’s when it comes out of order that a person’s life is unhealthy.  But that is a sermon for another time.

Vance doesn’t include God in his list of loves, so it’s hard to determine if his list would follow the concept of ordo amoris or not.

His comments instead seem to go to a related concept discussed by Thomas Aquinas.  Ordo caritatis, or the order of charity, a concept in which the application of our love, or of how our affection is expressed is directed to those more closely related to us.  This principle is outlined by St. Paul in his letter to Timothy.  “But if any man have not care of his own, and especially of those of his house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1 Timothy 5:8.   Aquinas ordered love as follows:

• God
• Ourselves, as a man ought to love himself more than his neighbor
• Our neighbors
• Our bodies, as a man ought to love his neighbor more than his body

“On this respect we love all men equally out of charity: because we wish them all one same generic good, namely everlasting happiness. Secondly love is said to be greater through its action being more intense: and in this way we ought not to love all equally.” STh q. 26, a. 6.  Our love therefore applies universally, but our charity is not distributed equally.  The degree of our charity is then applied according to our proximity.  In friendship, in kinship, in nationality, in physical space, etc.  “Moreover there is yet another reason for which, out of charity, we love more those who are more nearly connected with us, since we love them in more ways. For, towards those who are not connected with us we have no other friendship than charity, whereas for those who are connected with us, we have certain other friendships, according to the way in which they are connected.” STh q. 26, a. 6.

This is just common sense.  Of course we love those closest to us in different ways.  The bonds are stronger, we go to greater distances for them.  

It is not, however, a good philosophy for foreign policy, nor is it exactly applicable to our current immigration issue.  First, as foreign policy, we would have to assess at a broader scale the concept of our neighbor.  Who is the United States neighbors?  Is it just Canada and Mexico, literal proximate neighbors?  And of late, it doesn’t seem like we are acting too charitably to them.  Is it the countries we share kinship with, like the United Kingdom?  Or friendship or our allies?  What is the neighbor to a country?  Vance would like this to be just another part of America First, but it ignores a much deeper concept.

Secondly, with regard to immigration, we are largely dealing with an issue that is here already.  The issue is proximate.  It’s at our door.  So the question is more how we treat the stranger that is already among us than the foreigner that is very distant.  

Here, I think John Calvin gives perhaps the greatest critique.

"Now, since Christ has shown in the parable of the Samaritan that the term 'neighbor' includes even the most remote person (Luke 10:36), we are not expected to limit the precept of love to those in close relationships.

I do not deny that the more closely a man is linked to us, the more intimate obligation we have to assist him. It is the common habit of mankind that the more closely men are abound together by the ties of kinship, of acquaintanceship, or of neighborhood, the more responsibilities for one another they share. This does not offend God; for his providence, as it were leads us to it.

BUT I say: we ought to embrace the whole human race without exception in a single feeling of love; here there is no distinction between barbarian and Greek, worthy and unworthy, friend and enemy, since all should be contemplated in God, not in themselves.

When we turn aside from such contemplation, it is no wonder we become entangled in many errors. Therefore, if we rightly direct our love, we must first turn our eyes not to man, the sight of whom would more often engender hate than love, but to God, who bids us extend to all men the love we bear to him, that this may be an unchanging principle: whatever the character of the man, we must yet love him because we love God."     John Calvin, Institutes of Christian Religion, Book 2, Chapter 8, Section 55.

As Calvin outlines, this is the whole point of the parable of the Good Samaritan.  Remember, the parable of the Good Samaritan comes in Luke immediately following Jesus outlining the two greatest commandments.  A young student of the law asked Jesus what he must do to attain eternal life and Jesus asked him the commandments.  The student repeated the two commandments Jesus stated above. Jesus then acknowledged his correct statement.  

The young student of the law had to ask one more question.  Luke adds, desiring to justify himself, the lawyer asked, “Who is my neighbor?”

The lawyer, the pharisees then and now wanted a neat box tied around who their responsibility to love covered.  Fellow Israelites would be certain.  Showing hospitality to foreigners and travelers was to be expected.  But surely Jesus could not expect them to love a Samaritan, or worse, a Roman.

Jesus responds with a familiar story that I've written about before.  He tells of a Levite and a priest that pass by the injured man and worry more about themselves. What will happen to me if I touch this man?  Will I be defiled?  What has he done to deserve such a fate?  It's important to note that both the Levite and the priest could not imagine themselves in the man's position.  They could not empathize enough to see his need for assistance, so they crossed on the other side of the road to avoid him.

The Samaritan on the other hand worried about what would happen to the man if he did nothing.  Perhaps, the Samaritan could imagine himself in a similar situation.  He knew the treachery of the road and saw how it could have easily been him in that fate.

From the story, we see that the only response to Jesus' question at the end, asking who was the neighbor to the man who fell to robbers, is "he who showed mercy on him."  We see that all we come in contact with are people who are our neighbors.  And we have the opportunity to be neighborly in response by being the ones who show mercy and love.

Who we are called to love in our order of love, who we are called to those in our order of charity is those that God has brought into our paths.  We focus on that proximate connection.  The one that God has ordained and brought around us.  Not just the nice ones.  Not just the ones we choose.  Not just the convenient ones. 

Our order of love extends to the messy ones, the broken ones, the bleeding ones, the inconvenient ones that are brought in our circles.  The ones that don’t look like us.  The ones that we disagree with.  The ones that we have no other connection beyond a creator.  And especially the ones where we have no other connection than a faith, as we love our family in Christ.

So here, it calls us to care for and love to the migrant among us.  The refugee.  

They are here.  They are our neighbors.

For, the order of our love is in God’s control, not ours.  So let’s stop trying to justify ourselves.  Let’s stop putting limits on what God has called us to.

And if you need more encouragement…

"You shall not wrong nor oppress the stranger, for you were strangers in the Land of Egypt"  Exodus 22:20

"The strangers who reside with you shall be to you as your citizens … for you were strangers in the land of Egypt."  Leviticus 19:34

"For the Eternal your God is God supreme and Lord supreme, the great, the mighty, and the awesome God, who shows no favor and takes no bribe, but upholds the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, providing food and clothing — you too must love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt."  Deuteronomy 10:18-19

“Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” Romans 12:13

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” 1 Peter 4:9

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”  Hebrews 13:2

“Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.”  Titus 1:8

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in.”  Matthew 25:35

“Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers and sisters, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love. Please send them on their way in a manner that honors God. It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. We ought therefore to show hospitality to such people so that we may work together for the truth.”  3 John 1:5-8

Fourth Sunday of Advent - The Response

 On the fourth and final Sunday of Advent, we celebrate the love of God.  The greatest gift ever given! That an omnipotent, omnipresent God would step into time and space, into a moment, to live among His creation and to sacrifice Himself to provide a pathway for its restoration.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil."

John 3:16-19

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

John 1:14

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."

Luke 2:8-20

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

1 John 4:10

I pray you have a wonderful day in the Lord this Advent Sunday and are able to fully appreciate the love of God as it has been poured out to us.

The message remains the same.  Good news that will bring great joy to all.

And in so doing, let's go and tell.  It is good news after all.

The Christmas Story - Joseph

 "This is how the birth of Jesus the Messiah came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit.  Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, 'Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit.  She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.'

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 'The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel' (which means 'God with us').

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.  But he did not consummate their marriage until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus."

Matthew 1:18-25

Since becoming a father, I've thought a lot about Joseph at Christmas.  The focus of what becoming a father will do to you.  Understanding his position in the story just a little bit better.

He is certainly an enigmatic figure.  We know less about him than we do of Mary and he has a far smaller written role in the life of Jesus than she does.  We know his lineage, tying him to the house of David and requiring him to go to Bethlehem to be taxed/counted.  We know he was a carpenter, or craftsman.  We know he was a just and faithful man.  Beyond that, all we know of him is what happens to him in the early chapters of Matthew and Luke.  The birth, the flight to Egypt, and Jesus at the temple.  From there his story ends.

Some assume that Joseph died before Jesus' ministry ever started.  We know he was not present at the Crucifixion.  If he were, Joseph would have assumed care of his son's body, and Jesus would not have asked John to watch over his mother, Mary.  When exactly Joseph died or by what cause is unknown.

In the greater apocrypha, he is portrayed as an old man, even as old as 90 years old at the time of his betrothal to Mary.  These portrayals are found in the texts that maintain the perpetual virginity of Mary.  Accordingly, James, Joses, Simeon, and Judah/Jude/Judas, and their sisters are claimed to be children from a previous marriage, the step-siblings of Jesus if you will.

Modern protestant view tends to portray him a little younger.  Closer in age to Mary, still in the prime of his life.  That James, Joses, Simeon, and Judah would be the later children of Joseph and Mary.  

Whatever the additional details of his life, I can't help but place myself in his position.  The mix of emotions he must have felt when he learned Mary was pregnant.  The awe of the angel's statement.  All leading him to a dark stable, on a cold night, holding this little child that has been entrusted to his care.  Knowing the greatness this child is called to.

There's a song written a few years ago by Mercy Me called Joseph's Lullaby.  A song written from the perspective of Joseph as he sings Jesus to sleep.  It has a line that has haunted me since the first time I heard it.

Go to sleep my Son
This manger for your bed
You have a long road before You
Rest Your little head

Can You feel the weight of Your glory?
Do You understand the price?
Or does the Father guard Your heart for now
So You can sleep tonight?

Go to sleep my Son
Go and chase Your dreams
This world can wait for one more moment
Go and sleep in peace

I believe the glory of Heaven
Is lying in my arms tonight
But Lord, I ask that He for just this moment
Simply be my child

Go to sleep my Son
Baby, close Your eyes
Soon enough You'll save the day
But for now, dear Child of mine
Oh my Jesus, Sleep tight

All the questions that come from looking at an infant child who is the Son of God.  Finally realizing the weight of that statement.  And Joseph's simple request - for one moment, can he just be mine?  Everything else will come, everything else will happen, but can he just be mine right now?  Can he be spared the crushing weight of expectation for one minute?

How often did Joseph and Mary wish to spare Jesus from his destiny?  Did they try to talk him into a safer life?  How often did they pray for his protection, even at the expense of his mission? 

How often did they beg God to spare Jesus from His plan?

I know this is probably not the most appropriate Christian response, but looking over my children and knowing what I would do to protect them, I can imagine the answer is often and frequently.

I know kids need to learn overcoming difficulty and hardship, but every parent, if they knew their children would face real suffering, would face terminal illnesses, agonizing pain, overwhelming hardship, would beg to take their place.

It puts new perspective on what it must have been like as the adoptive father in this story.  To be the one appointed to watch over Jesus.  To raise him, to teach him a trade, and to set him out on his ministry.

I think there is a little poetry in why Joseph, a carpenter or craftsman was chosen.  God the master craftsman sent his son to a carpenter to apprentice.  Picturing Joseph teaching Jesus how to create, how to restore, how to reuse.  How to repair the broken.  

A picture of our adoptive Father.  What he wants to teach us.  How He restores.  How He repairs.   How He creates.

How great the father's love, indeed.

St. Valentine's Day 2023

Though we recognize it everyday, today is a special day that we have set apart to celebrate love. All kinds of love - brotherly love, familial love, and romantic love. Particularly romantic love. 

We refer to people as our Valentines. Our pair, our date for the day, now matter how we celebrate. 

And in that spirit, to my Valentine, I say…

Our evening dinner dates may be rare. Our day may have been spent at work.  But there is no one that I would rather spent the day with. 

I love you gorgeous. 

Bigger than Godzilla. 

All the way to the moon. 

To infinity and beyond. 

To the ends of the earth...

Until you read this and correct me, I love you more!

"Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date;
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature’s changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;
Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee."

Sonnet 18, William Shakespeare

Valentine's Day 2022

Though we recognize it everyday, today is a special day that we have set apart to celebrate love. All kinds of love - brotherly love, familial love, and romantic love. Particularly romantic love. 

We refer to people as our Valentines. Our pair, our date for the day, now matter how we celebrate.  And certainly, our celebrations have changed.  Our dinners may not be fancy.  It may not be a romantic date.  It may be silly and even childish.

But nonetheless, love remains.  

To the ends of the earth gorgeous, and many, many more...

 

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnet 116, William Shakespeare

Valentine's Day 2021

Though we recognize it everyday, today is a special day that we have set apart to celebrate love. All kinds of love - brotherly love, familial love, and romantic love. Particularly romantic love. 

We refer to people as our Valentines. Our pair, our date for the day, now matter how we celebrate. 

Our dinner may have been on Thursday, a rare time in this environment where we can have a dinner just the two of us. Our day may have been spent a little apart with the guys small group meeting. And the day may have been a little overwhelming with Jude’s early birthday party today too. But there is no one that I would rather spent the day with. 

I love you gorgeous. 

Bigger than Godzilla. 

All the way to the moon. 

To infinity and beyond. 

To the ends of the earth...

Until you read this and correct me, I love you more!

World Kindness Day 2020

"When Henry James’s nephew was about to go off to school for the first time, he came to his uncle and asked, 'Do you have any advice for me?' Henry James answered, 'I have three pieces of advice. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind.' What memorable advice!"

Mr. Rogers

Today is World Kindness Day. Started in 1998 by the World Kindness Movement, a collection of nations' kindness non-governmental organizations, World Kindness Day is designed to highlight good deeds in the community focusing on the positive power and the common thread of kindness which binds us. Kindness is a fundamental part of the human condition which bridges the divides of race, religion, politics, gender and zip codes. 

Kindness is what makes us human.

It is a fruit of the spirit; a divine connector that ties us all together.  It costs us nothing, it gains us much, and it truly makes the world around us better.  

And it's so easy to be kind.

It doesn't have to be a grand gesture.  The smallest of things can have great impacts.

Hold the door open.

Call a friend, just to talk.

Send a text to let someone know you are thinking of them.

Pay for the car's lunch behind you in the drive thru.

Smile, even if you are wearing a mask.

Say thank you.

Wash the dishes, just because.  Fold the clothes, just because.

Rewind.

Say I'm sorry.

Laugh, and laugh with friends - over the phone, over Zoom, in person if possible.

In a world where you can be anything, BE KIND.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:32

Happy Birthday Mom!

I share this picture a lot, largely because it’s one of my favorites. My mom and I many years ago now.  I love it because it shows a bond we’ve shared throughout the years, there from the beginning.

We’re connected in so many ways. Mom and first born. Mom and son. And in having back to back birthdays.  This last one was a situation where having similar tastes in cakes really worked out. 

It’s been different not getting to celebrate together, but we make the best of it.  And we know that our hearts are connected no matter the physical distance.

To Mom, I hope you have a wonderful day. I hope it has been bright and wonderful. And I can’t wait until we can celebrate together again. 

We miss you, we love you, and we wish you all the best!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Thomas T Brooks

I've often thought there are two types of people in this world, and you can tell them by the way they respond to one particular situation.  When faced with a shortage of room at the table, there are those that build bigger fences and keep their table small, and there are those that build bigger tables.  Those with a mantra of "the more the merrier."  That are always welcoming, always inviting.

Always inclusive.

It's my goal to be the latter.  To be inclusive.  To be welcoming.  To make people feel it.

And I learned that especially from Thomas T Brooks.  PawPaw Brooks.

His circle of friends was ever expanding.  Ever changing and growing for the better.  If he met you and talked to you, you were in.  If he visited your church, you were invited to the fish fry.  

Those are the great memories.  The reunions.  The large gatherings of family and friends.  The fish frys.  The turkey frys.  Mexican Train.  Hand 'n foot.  Washers. Horseshoes.  Fishing.  Traveling in the RV.

Always on the go.  Always meeting new people, making new friends.  

And he didn't really slow down much, even right up here to the end.  Still driving into his mid-90s.  42 at the church.  Breakfast here.  Dinner there.

His personality is going to be missed, for sure.  His warmth, his welcoming.  His stories.  I know he's having a great reunion now.  Granny Brooks.  Zach.  His brothers and his family.  All those friends and neighbors that have gone on before.  What a fish fry they are having.

He leaves big shoes for the rest of us in the family to fill.  I pray we can be as warm and inviting.  As inclusive. And as celebratory of life.  

It's hard in this time when gatherings are limited, when travel is difficult.  Just being so far away.  I look forward to when we can have a great, big fish fry in memorial.  

I can't think of a better way to honor him.

Rest in Peace, PawPaw Brooks.  You've earned it.

The Importance of Dates

This past weekend was a reminder of the importance of dates.  Of the importance of spending time one-on-one with the people you care about.

Jamie and I make it a point to have at least one date night a month.  We'd love for it to be at least one night a week.  On the once a month schedule, it's usually a Friday night/most of the day Saturday where we just have a little time to ourselves.  The kids enjoying time with their grandparents and cousins.  And us getting to relax.  Getting to go out and watch a show.  Getting to stay in and watch something they can't see yet.  Going to eat somewhere they would turn their nose up to.  Keeping that honeymoon period alive.

This weekend, we got to watch BlacKkKlansman (which totally should have won Best Picture).  We got to have two great meals.  Brunch at Oscar Delta and our favorite local Italian at Napolis.  We got dressed up and went to see Anastasia at the Music Hall at Fair Park.

But most importantly, we got to spend time together.  To get to talk, without interruption.  To just relax and be present together.  It's much a much needed recharging, preparing us for all that's ahead.

Almost equally as important, I got to have a Daddy-Daughter Date with Avalyn Sunday afternoon.  We've had a handful of movie outings just the two of us, but most of our previous dates have been breakfasts.  When I'm not on the Sunday schedule for all three services, I would take Avalyn to breakfast while Jamie worked the first service and then we'd both attend the second.

This Sunday, though, Avalyn and I both got dressed up to go see Disney's The Little Mermaid at the Dallas Symphony Orchestra.  The Symphony played the score while the movie was shown on a large screen above them.  Jamie and I have seen Psycho and The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring this way, as well as several Looney Tunes shorts and Fantasia segments.

It was just an afternoon to invest in her.  She got to pick what music we listened to in the car (Mary Poppins Returns on the way, the original Mary Poppins on the way back).  She picked where we ate - Braums for both lunch before and an ice cream treat after the show.  She got to choose to walk to Klyde Warren Park after the show at the Meyerson to try to find the playground.

It was very clear that I was not the only dad who had the same idea at the show.  Several daddy-daughter dates, as well as mommy-daughter, mother-son, and full family outings.  And it was the perfect outing.  Something she's interested in.  Something that exposes her to something different, something more than she has seen.  To get to teach her about the symphony, to let her know I used to work for one, and especially for her to see a female conductor, to be able to see that as a possibility.

Both dates were absolutely worth it and I would not trade a minute of either of them.

But, both dates were also hard.

This is the crazy season for us, with Jamie rehearsing into the night getting ready for competition in a couple of weeks.  Work is ramping up and requiring a few more later stays in the office.  It's tough to even schedule a date night now.  We were all exhausted this past weekend and could have easily spent the days lounging around and just trying to catch up on rest and sleep.

I'm glad we didn't.  I'm glad to have those moments together with my wife and with my daughter.

I'm a firm believer that our most precious resource is time.  It's the one worth fighting for the most.  It's what motivates me.  I'm not motivated by more money or more things unless they afford me more time.   If you want to incentivize me, offer me more time with my family.  With friends.  More time to invest in those I've been blessed with and chosen to be around.

Time is one of the few resources we can never accumulate.  It's always running away from us.  So spend it and take it wisely.

Jamie and I didn't get our show selfie, but Avalyn and I did, so I'm thought I would close by including it here.

To many, many, many more dates, date-nights, daddy-daughter dates, and father-son outings.

One Another

Today we looked at the "one anothers" of the new testament.  The commands that have been given to us as followers of Christ regarding how we should treat each other.

There's a bit of this in the infographic below, but while the words "one another" may be two words in English, it is just one word in the Greek New Testament.  The graphic below lists that it appears 100 times in 94 verses the New Testament.  Other sites list 59 one another mentions.  Either way, the majority come from Paul's epistles to the churches.  This makes sense, as Paul's writings were exhortations to the members of the body regarding how they should live.

I am reminded that one way to place emphasis is through repetition.  It seems that the Lord wants us to know how to treat one another, as He has placed such emphasis on it.  He has to keep reminding us.

We are to be at peace with one another.  Be devoted to one another.  Honor one another.  Accept one another.  Instruct one another.  Wait for one another.  Have equal concern for one another.  Bear with one another.  Forgive one another.  Be kind and compassionate to one another.  Admonish one another.  Encourage one another.

And we are to love one another.  Love one another.  Love one another.  Repeated more than any of the others.  I guess this was the one we were going to have to work on the most (and it shows).

So this week, let’s work on how we treat one another. 

And if we need the reminder, I've included the list below.  I know I'll be circling back on this one.  

Fourth Sunday of Advent - O Come Let Us Adore Him

On the fourth and final Sunday of Advent, we celebrate the love of God.  That an omnipotent, omnipresent God would step into time and space, into a moment, to live among His creation and to sacrifice Himself to provide a pathway for its restoration.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil."

John 3:16-19

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth."

John 1:14

"And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

“Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told."

Luke 2:8-20

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins."

1 John 4:10

I pray you have a wonderful day in the Lord this Advent Sunday and are able to fully appreciate the love of God as it has been poured out to us.

If you are looking for a place to celebrate this Christmas Eve Eve and are in the Wills Point area, please check out Stonepoint Church.

Have We Forgotten How To Love?

A little longer musing today - an oral devotion developed into the written post.

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.  The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Mark 12:30

“On these two commandments hang the whole Law and the prophets.”

Matthew 22:40

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another.  By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

John 13:34 

The early church was known for its love – people saw how much the church came together (Acts 2); cared for widows and orphans.  In the ancient world, children who were exposed usually met one of three fates: death, slavery/prostitution or Christian “adoption”.  Of the followers of the way, it was said, “Falsehood is not found among them; and they love on another; and from widows they do not turn away their esteem; and they deliver the orphan from him who treats him harshly.  And he who has, gives to him, who as not, without boasting. And when they see stranger, they take him in to their homes and rejoice over him as a very brother.”  Apology of Aristides the Philosopher 15, c. A.D. 125

But are we known for love today?

Or are we more often known now for what we are against.

I read a lot and there is a lot that is troubling regarding what Christians are known for.

I read studies.  There is a study from the University of California Berkeley Social Psychological and Personality Science department that found that atheists are more compassionate than Christians.  Atheists give out of a empathy/sympathy for the cause (often have a personal connection), whereas Christians give out of sense of religious obligation.  Meaning Christians may give more out of doctrine, communal identity, or reputational concerns, rather than just compassion for the cause.

I read blogs like “why I don’t cry to Christians any more,” a personal account from a survivor of abuse/rape/assault, regarding the response she gets from the Christian community.  She states how she is not asking for answers from friends, but rather just wants a hug, a smile, a pat on the back, someone to listen.  What she gets instead are platitudes like “Well, I don’t think you should complain, God has a plan you just need more patience,” or cryptic bible verses, invitations to church.  Friends who refuse to visit her in the hospital or discuss her illness because it “gives the Devil power through acknowledging the illness.”  Male friends who walk away when she cries as to not give the wrong impression of emotional intimacy.  And how these responses are causing her to simply ignore the hurt within the Christian community, since she cannot find authentic community, love, and support within.

I read the opinions from waitstaff and studies that reveal Christians to be seen as horribly bad tippers.  From leaving Gospel tracts instead of a tip, to messages like “I give God 10%, why should I give you more.”

I read experiences from Disney cast members who dubbed Night of Joy, the Christian music festival in the park, Night of Terror because of the rampant theft, drugs, and sex that was occurring throughout the event.  Cast members who hated shifts those nights more than any other day in the park.  More theft during Night of Joy than during Grad Nights, another special event for a similar aged group.

I read news items regarding churches like the Village Church in Dallas and its controversy with a member and missionary who divorced her husband following a discovery of his involvement with child pornography.  While the husband entered a “process of walking in repentance,” the wife was disciplined by the church and held to her membership covenant because she sought an annulment from her marriage and rescinded her church membership after the discovery.  I bring this up because this isn’t a fringe sect.   This is a church headed by popular pastor Matt Chandler.  The church has since apologized for its handling of the situation.

And this does not even start to touch on the issues that have come up with regard to the improper mixture of politics and religion over the past couple of years.

To get a little more personal, I think to an event from Jamie’s early years in teaching, where a student was surprised to hear Jamie was a Christian.  This revelation hurt Jamie because she wants to be the kind of Christian where it is apparent, and it caused her to worry that she was not being “enough” of a Christian.  But when she dug in for an explanation, she found the student associated “Christian” with hateful, judgmental, narrow-minded, etc., and since Jamie was not any of those things, it was surprising to them that Jamie would identify herself as such.

So again that raises the question – are we known for our love?  I know that there are stories that can be pointed to of Christian love and charity, but I fear we are becoming more and more known for the kinds of stories that I cited above.

We’re given clear instructions on how to love and why it is important.  The two greatest commandments are summed in the first verse cited above as to love God and to love people.    On these two commandments hang everything.

Jesus then further gives us insight into how to love God.   “If you love Me, you will keep My commands.” John 14:15.  Notice it’s not in the reverse.  It is entirely possible to obey God’s commands and not love Him.  This was the Pharisees problem.  “Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue, and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God.  You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.” Luke 11:42.  But if you love him, you must obey His commands.

In Luke 10:27, Jesus provided four ways to love God – heart (emotional), soul, (spiritual), mind (intellect), and strength (physical being; our abilities).  And from scripture we see that to love God is to love people is to love God.  “Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.”   I John 2:9-11.  “We love because He first loved us.  If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar.  For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.  And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.  Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well.  This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out his commands.  This is love for God: to obey his commands.  And his commands are not burdensome.”  I John 4:19-5:3

We then come to loving people.  And I think we forget how radical this commandment is.  Notice it does not come with a limitation.  It’s to love everyone, even our enemies.  But since Jesus first announced this commandment, we’ve been trying to find exceptions.  Trying to limit the definition of who is our neighbor.  “But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, ‘And who is my neighbor?’”  Luke 10:29.  From there Jesus tells the story of the Good Samaritan.  How a man, presumably a Jewish man had traveled a particularly treacherous path from Jerusalem to Jericho, from mountain to sea level, and had been beaten, stripped, and left for dead by robbers. He was passed by two “holy” religious men, a priest and a Levite.  The epitome of Jewish religion and piety.  The Pharisees and the Sadducees.  And they did nothing.  He was then passed by a Samaritan, by a person a good Jew would have called a dog or trash.  And the Samaritan is the one who showed compassion.

I love how Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. summarized this parable.  The Priest and the Levite looked at the man and asked “If I help this man what will happen to me?”  They wanted to keep up appearances.  They were about their busy religious business.  “It weighed more with them that he might be dead and defiling to the touch of those whose business was with holy things than that he might be alive and in need of care."  Their concern was for their own defilement of touching a dead body, which would have required a ritual cleaning before entering the temple.
The Samaritan on the other hand looked at the man and asked “If I do not help this man, what will happen to him?”  Selfless, compassionate.  “The one who showed him mercy.”  He cared not for racial differences, he cared not for religious differences, he cared not for the harm that might come to himself.  He saw someone in need and helped meet it.

We should go and do likewise.

Proverbs and Pooh

Late night thoughts...

“Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭10:12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”
1 Peter 4:8

“Love is taking a few steps backward, maybe even more...to give way to the happiness of the person you love.”
Winnie-the-Pooh

Take wisdom where you find it and hold on to it.

It is interesting to me, that what the world really, truly needs, is love. It’s there in the scripture and yet we like to downplay it.

It’s a wisdom from the mouth of babes. Something so simple, the simplest of truths, that we like to overcomplicate it.

Jesus himself would describe the entire scripture in “love God” and “love others.”  Of faith, hope, and love, love is the greatest.

It’s woven throughout the story of the world and repeated to us over and over again. It would seem to be very foundational to our faith. A command so important and so radical that we are to love those that would be deemed unlovable. To love our very enemies, those that would seek to hurt or eliminate us.

It would seem that “all you need is love”, after all.

So, let’s listen to the silly old bear, and take a few steps back to let others shine.   Let’s love radically. It’s how they’ll know whose we are, by our love.

We’ve seen where division, conflict, hate, ego, apathy, suspicion, fear, and all our other vices get us.

Let’s try love.

It’s all we need.

The Second Mile

"On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus.  'Teacher,' he asked, 'what must I do to inherit eternal life?'
'What is written in the Law?' he replied.  'How do you read it?'
He answered, ' "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself."'
'You have answered correctly,' Jesus replied.  'Do this and you will live.'
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, 'And who is my neighbor?' "

Luke 10:25-29

I love the story of the Good Samaritan. It contains a perfect summation of the law and a beautiful example of the love that Jesus has called us to.  It also shares many similarities with the story of the rich young ruler.

In this encounter with Jesus, we see a searcher truly asking Jesus what is required for eternal life.  And when asked what the Law requires, he gives the correct summary.  In fact, he gives the summary that Jesus himself gives - to love God and to love your neighbor.  This should have been sufficient, but the young expert in the law wanted to qualify who counted as his neighbor.

This was the Pharisees problem.  “Woe to you Pharisees, because you give God a tenth of your mint, rue, and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of God.  You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.”  Luke 11:42  The Pharisees, like this expert, would have no problem with loving their neighbor so long as they were good Jews, but any going any further than that would be problematic.

In telling the story of the Good Samaritan, Jesus described a traveler along the Bloody Path, a crooked, winding pathway going from the mountain to sea level.  It was known to be treacherous, with many areas prone to gangs and marauders.  It would not be a surprise in the story for the man to have been attacked and left injured on the side of the road.

The surprise would have come with those appearing next in the story who had the opportunity to offer aid, a priest, a levite, and a Samaritan.  The priest and the levite would have represented the very best of the best to the Jews.  The Samaritan would have been viewed as trash.  The were viewed as dogs.  Less than dirt.  Jews and Samaritans hated each other on a level of Jews and Nazis, Jews and Palestinians, Christians/Jews and Muslims, etc.

So it becomes very interesting that the only one to stop and offer aid was the lowly Samaritan.  I think Dr. Martin Luther King has one of the most interesting insights on this passage.  He outlined how the Priest and the Levite looked at the man and asked "If I help this man what will happen to me?"  King would summarize "it weighed more with them that he might be dead and defiling to the touch of those whose business was with holy things than that he might be alive and in need of care."  They were so concerned regarding their own defilement from touching a dead body, which would require a cleaning before entering the temple.  He noted that the Samaritan on the other hand looked at the man and asked “If I do not help this man, what will happen to him?"

We can further see how serious Jesus is about loving our neighbor and how challenging that will be in the Sermon on the Mount.  There Jesus outlines exactly how we are to love our neighbor.  To love them even when it hurts, when it’s uncomfortable.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.'  But I tell you, do not resist and evil person.  If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.  And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.  Give to the one who asks you, and do  not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from  you.
You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.  He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.  If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?  Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others?  Do not even pagans do that?  Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Matthew 5:38-48

Jesus outlined a few big categories on how to love and I really do think we underestimate how difficult and how radical they are.  First, we are to love everyone including our enemies.  We are to love and for our enemies.  Not just a "pious" prayer of “Lord bring them around to you,” though that is a part. It’s pray for them as we do ourselves: pray for their safety, pray for their nourishment, pray for their well being, etc.

Second, we are to turn the other cheek.  Jesus is literally directing us toward not seeking retribution and avoiding escalation.   Please note, Jesus does not provide any limitations on this.  There is not a limitation on the number of times that we are to turn the other cheek.  To focus on such a number is the equivalent of asking "who is my neighbor."  It's slightly missing the point.  The focus is to avoid conflict.

Jesus then reiterates this concept by instructing us to give the shirt off your back.  This example is discussed in a court room sense.  We are to settle disputes rather than seeking court justification; if giving your opponent your shirt (something extra) will settle the dispute finally, it is better to do so.

Jesus then closes the examples by telling us to go the extra mile.  The second mile.  This is a form of impressment.  In Roman days, Jews like others under Roman occupation, could be forced to carry a soldier’s bag (100 lb) for one mile.  Regardless of what the Jew was doing, regardless of where the solider was going, the Jew was required by punishment of law to carry the soldiers pack.

As you can imagine, there were typically two different types of responses to this requirement.  The Zealots, or the religious right/fundamentalists, would dig in and engage in  “civil” disobedience.  Be thrown in jail for refusal.  This type of requirement and response would be part of what led to a Jewish revolution attempt
The average person might carry the pack, but would grumble the whole way, throw the pack down at the end, and storm off in a huff.

But Jesus says do more – do something astonishing.  Don't just carry the pack the required distance.  Go further.  Don't do it begrudgingly; do it willingly.  Do it as service to God.

It's also very important to notice what Jesus does not say.

He does not say use the second mile as an opportunity just to witness.  This might be a natural outcome, but the command is not there.  We’re not to do this for an ulterior motive beyond carrying the pack and providing the assistance needed.

He also does not give any exceptions.  There is no exception for circumstance.  Of particular interest, there is no exception for the Sabbath.  On the Sabbath, Jews viewed scripture as preventing them from being able to work, regardless of what the work was for.  They had even calculated the specific number of steps that they were allowed to take to prevent them from breaking this rule.  What is very interesting about this situation is that depending on the circumstances, a Jew might be able to carry the pack for one mile and return to his home without breaking the number of steps.  By instructing them to walk two miles, still having the return trip of two miles, without an exception for the Sabbath, Jesus' new instruction would definitely cause them to break the allotted number of steps on a Sabbath.  One further indication showing Jesus cares not for our religious rules we have created, but deeply cares about his people and the instruction to love.

In that context, what does going the second mile look like today:

• Perhaps going the extra mile looks like caring for someone through their illness instead of leaving them to it as a consequence of their sin.  The church missed a tremendous opportunity to care for and love on hurting people in the AIDS epidemic of the 1980s.
• Perhaps going the extra mile looks like praying for political leadership we oppose and not resorting to calling them various names or calling for their heads whether on Facebook or in person.
• Perhaps going the extra mile today looks like calling a person by the name and gender they identify with rather than the one we are comfortable with, and recognizing that a person who goes through a transition as quickly and as publicly as Caitlin Jenner has gone through may have many other issues and hurts in her life that need to be addressed

I don’t know that any of these are 100% right.  But I do know that planting our flag on one side and declaring an entire set of people as “them” and putting a chasm in between us and making them approach us only if they’ve cleaned up and agree with us, is 100% wrong.

And further, the focus on being "right" is another adventure in missing the point.  It's the pharisee asking "who is our neighbor" or asking how many times to turn our cheeks.  The focus on being "right" is one of the most detrimental instincts in the church.  It is at the root at a number of church splits that we have seen, preventing God's universal Church from getting along with each other.    It's what puts doctrine over discipleship.   And any number of horrors can be justified under the banner of being "right" (the Crusades, the Salem Witch Trials, the continued propagation of the "curse of Ham" doctrine).

So the question today is what is our response when we’re told to carry the pack:

Are we the zealot, focusing on our own righteousness, just like the Pharisees and Sadduccees?  The priest or the Levite who focuses on keeping themselves clean?

Are we the average Jew, who is dragged along and complies, grumbling all the time?

Or are we the one that astonishes?  The Samaritan who is deeply concerned about what will happen to his fellow man if he does not act?


"By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another."

John 13:35

"Above all love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."

1 Peter 4:8