Jamie's Perspective - Part 2: My Life is a Puzzle

"There are times when Jude is working on a puzzle when two pieces look like they should fit together and he tries so hard to make them work. That sums up the last 9 months of our lives.

After deciding not to renew my contract at the high school and go down to becoming a single income family we quickly found ourselves reduced to a no income family. Mitch got the news right after our Disney family vacation celebrating his parents 40th wedding anniversary. Not exactly the best news to come back to but an answered prayer nonetheless.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.' Now is when our faith gets tested. What do we put our trust in? The income we were depending on or the belief that God has something better? I’d been praying for him to find a new job but this wasn’t the way I would’ve planned it. Thankfully the first couple of months we were getting my salary from the school since it runs August to August. We cut down to bare the minimum and made the decision to move in with my parents. Life has a way of keeping us humble. I would’ve never thought at 35 years old I’d be living under the same roof as mom and dad. This season of my life has been one filled with unknowns, trust, and faith. It’s very challenging when you struggle significantly with self-control to realize you can’t control the outcome. We went from one temp job to the next giving just enough to make our necessary payments. There were times when we didn’t know how we were going to pay for next weeks bills when another project would creep up at just the right time to cover us and keep us afloat. 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.'

We’ve gone from one hopeful prospect to another. He’s been the top candidate more times than I can count, many of which later came back to say they just decided not to hire for that position after all. What do you do when when your heart gets crushed time after time? When it’s the one you love most in the world taking the brunt of forceful blows? Rejection plays a huge role on our psyche.

Light at the end of the tunnel began to creep through at the start of the new year. Mitch was in the final running for three different positions. One in Austin. Yay, we’d be close to Mitch’s family. The cousins would be able to see each other more often. We could hang out with our siblings. Second position, work from home. Yay, we’d move somewhere close to Dallas putting us closer to my family. I could team up with my cousin in homeschooling our kids together. Both positions are win/win. Then the third position. Indianapolis. Where we know no one. Where we’re far away from our families.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.' I’d love to say in this moment I did just that but I found myself negotiating with God. Have you ever done that? I knew where he was leading us to before the final interviews took place and I was mad. Why would you take us away from the people we love the most? I had to get to a place where I was willing to go wherever he may lead. Surrendering your desires to his can be one of the hardest things we do but the beauty of it is watching him mold your desires into his.

If you don’t know already, Mitch got the job in Indianapolis. He starts in two weeks. They have been nothing short of amazing. It’s interesting to see what happens when you let go. I can honestly say I am extremely excited about our upcoming adventure. I would’ve never thought a year ago we’d be Hoosiers but it looks that way. We’ve wanted to adopt and we knew wherever we were going the rest of our family is there. We’re looking forward to what lies ahead. Thankful for the time we’ve spent living in the present. Hopeful for what the future has in store. No matter what we’re still Texans at heart.

As Jude the puzzle master would say, 'This piece goes right here.'"

Jamie's Perspective - Part 1: My Life is a Puzzle

Y'all get a lot from me, so I thought you might appreciate Jamie's perspective on this period and the move.  Here's her part one:

"'This piece goes right there,' I hear Jude say several times throughout his puzzle making. This little dude loves his puzzles. He also doesn’t take too kindly to people putting a piece in the wrong place. He’s not rude, he just knows where they go. I can’t help but think about life in that way. It’s one gigantic puzzle and we don’t know how it’s supposed to look. We keep trying to jam the pieces to fit together the way we want them to, to make us more comfortable, to keep us close to family, to keep us safe from physical and emotional pain but there are some pieces that will bring these in our lives.

Before every school year I would do the Daniel fast to pray for the year ahead with my students, for the upcoming journey we’d take through the shows but this time it was a little different. This time I began to pray for Mitch. His job had become unbearable and it was affecting him in a way that was detrimental to his health and well being. To anyone who doesn’t know Mitch is about as loyal as they come. He stuck with this company in the hopes that changes would be made. I began to pray he’d look for a new job, one that he was excited about, passionate about. I wanted him to feel what I feel about my students, about the shows we get to perform and the family we become. As the prayers became more frequent and furious a change did occur, just not in the way I was hoping for or would have ever counted on. I began my journey into a dark place. The joy I once had in teaching was quickly fading. I was shot into depression. I didn’t want to get up in the mornings. I didn’t want to teach. I didn’t look forward to the musical. I didn’t want to be there. We as teachers all have moments when we want to give up, when things get tough but this was different. This hit me like a bolt of lighting. There was no external factor propelling me to feel this way. I loved my students. I had a supportive administration. There wasn’t anything I could point to to say this is why I feel the way I do. I got to a place where I knew this would be my last year to teach in Wills Point and I got mad.

'What the crap? I’m praying for Mitch’s job. His is the one that sucks. I’m trying to make a difference in kids lives. God, what are you doing to me?' I wrestled with this decision for months but the moment I surrendered to the fact this would be my last year here I had peace for the first time in months. Not only did I have peace but I also had excitement for the show that was approved for competition, for coming to my classes, for the privilege of just being alive. What started as the worst school year in the 11 years of my teaching was transformed into one of my favorites. Second semester pulled a 180. I was extremely proud of our OAP. I met such amazing parents who worked their butts off for the show. We took a journey that few ever take. The year ended with bittersweet goodbyes.

I didn’t know it at the time but God was orchestrating the ability for me to stay home with my kids. To invest in them. To start our homeschooling journey. I would’ve never thought this is where my story would lead. I don’t know if my public school teaching days are over. I don’t know how long our homeschool journey will last. All I know is I’ve got to be thankful for each season as it comes. There’s a great adventure out there and it’s only just beginning.

'This piece goes right here.'"