Thou Fair Eliza (c) - Act 3, Scene 2 Addition

Today, I'd like to share my favorite addition to the script.  Act 3, Scene 2.  The garden party.  In My Fair Lady, the event was changed to a grand ball.  In the original Pygmalion, the event is referred to as a garden party.

Here, the goal was to show what Shaw only alluded to, and in particular, to lay the seeds for Eliza's choice to head to Mrs. Higgins house after the fight later that evening.  This should be the moment where Mrs. Higgins a glimpse into the depths of her son's narcissism, something she likely dismissed before.

In particular, there are a few lines in here that I could hear coming from the voices of actor's I would associate with the characters.

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SCENE 2.

[The garden party.  The garden is situated in such a way that upstage center there is a stair with a terrace landing overlooking the garden.  This balcony is being used like a stairway at a grand ball; everyone entering and exiting the party are using the stairwell.  

Down stage center, a section has been reserved for a dance floor, the patrons swirling around the floor as the party continues on.

Throughout the party, the footman will be announcing names offstage, after which, the guests will enter upstage center, take the stairs Stage Right to go down into the garden.  

Mrs. Higgins has previously arrived at the party and is on the landing, watching the events of the party unfold.]

FOOTMAN. [offstage]  Colonel George Mayhew Pickering.

[Colonel Pickering enters on the landing and acknowledges Mrs. Higgins.]

PICKERING. Mrs. Higgins.  So good to see you this fine evening.

MRS. HIGGINS.  And you, Colonel Pickering.  I trust my wayward son has not been treating you too terribly.

PICKERING.  Oh, no.  Quite the contrary.  I dare say these last few days have been some of the most rewarding of this entire process.

FOOTMAN. [offstage] Professor Henry Higgins.

[Higgins enters brusquely.]

PICKERING.  Speak of the devil.  Ah, Henry.  I see you’ve made it in one piece.

HIGGINS.   Yes, and no worse for wear.  Though I must say, you should have seen the dreadful row that occurred before we could head out the door.

MRS. HIGGINS.  Really, Henry.

HIGGINS.  Hello, mother.  I trust you are enjoying yourself this evening.

MRS. HIGGINS.  Certainly, though it sounds like I missed the highlight of this evening’s festivities.

HIGGINS.  No, no.  Just a misunderstanding.  She, of course, decided to pick tonight of all nights to become obstinate.

PICKERING.  Now Henry…

HIGGINS.  Don’t “now Henry” me, Pick.  She knows this is exactly what she has prepared for.  She has been to enough luncheons and afternoon teas.  Tonight is the real test.

MRS. HIGGINS. Why Henry, if I did not know any better, I would say you were concerned.

HIGGINS.  Of course I’m concerned…

FOOTMAN. [offstage] Professor Francios Nepean.

HIGGINS. And that is why.

[Professor Nepean enters, and passes the party by on the balcony.]

NEPEAN. Higgins [nodding]

HIGGINS. Nepean.

[The trio watches as Nepean descends the stairs and begins to work his way around the party.]

HIGGINS.  That vulture.  If Eliza slips even for a second, he’ll see right through her.

PICKERING. Henry, she will be fine.  She could not be any more prepared.

HIGGINS.  We shall see if that has proven enough.  Ee, gods, what other calamities will this night entail?

FOOTMAN. [offstage]  Mrs. Glennis Eynsford Hill, accompanied by Master Frederick Eynsford Hill and Miss Clara Eynsford Hill.

HIGGINS.  Of course.

[The Eynsford Hills enter and begin their introductions.]

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL.  Mrs. Higgins, what a pleasure.

MRS. HIGGINS.  Likewise, my dear.  I trust you have been getting along well since our last luncheon.

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL.  Oh, yes.  I hope Freddy has not been too much of a bother in the days since.

MRS. HIGGINS.  Not at all.  He is a splendid conversationalist.

MISS EYNSFORD HILL. [to Mrs. Eynsford Hill]  Mother, may I proceed down to the festivities below?  I want to begin rounding out my dance card as quickly as possible.

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL. Unaccompanied … - … I …

PICKERING. Mrs. Eynsford Hill, would you permit me to escort you and your daughter.  It would be a privilege

MRS. EYNSFORD HILL.  Yes, that would be wonderful.  Thank you, sir.  Come along, Clara.

FREDDY. [to Higgins] Will Miss Doolittle be attending this evening?  I do hope to see her.

HIGGINS.  She should be here by now.  I wonder what the devil could be keeping her.

FOOTMAN. [offstage]  Miss Eliza Doolittle.

[The pace of the scene slows tremendously as Eliza enters the scene.  All eyes immediately go to her.]

HIGGINS.  There you are.  It’s about time you made your entrance.  Now..

MRS. HIGGINS.  Henry!

FREDDY.  [to Eliza, fumbling over his words]  Miss Doolittle, … you look….  That is to say… Would you grant me the honor of this dance?

[Eliza nods and they both descend the stairway stage right and make their way to downstage center.   Leaving Mrs. Higgins and the Professor on the balcony.  Debussy’s Claire de Lune begins playing in the background.  All eyes continue to be on Eliza as she dances and makes her way around the room.  

After several moments.]

MRS. HIGGINS.  Henry, she’s radiant.

HIGGINS.  She is doing fairly well, isn’t she?  I dare say, this whole gambit make succeed after all.

MRS. HIGGINS.  It may well indeed, but that is not what I am referring to, Henry.  Surely her beauty cannot have escaped even your notice?

[Professor Nepean approaches Eliza.]

HIGGINS.  Mmmhmmm.

MRS. HIGGINS.  Henry [slightly exasperated] I fear this damned contest of yours has gone on long enough.  What is to be done with Eliza after this evening’s performance?

HIGGINS.  [barely listening] Done with what, Mother?

MRS. HIGGINS.  Eliza, Henry.  What will be done with Eliza?

HIGGINS.  Eliza seems to be doing splendidly.  I suppose we shall know soon enough.  Here comes Nepean.

[Nepean ascends the stairway stage left and approaches Higgins.]

NEPEAN.  Henry, you have truly found a star in your new pupil.  I would watch myself.  I dare say she may outshine us all.

[Nepean nods and exits.]

HIGGINS.  Did you hear that, Mother?  A triumph.

MRS. HIGGINS.  Yes, dear, but what does this mean for Eliza?

HIGGINS.  Mean?!?  It means I’ve done it.  I’ve taken a dirty little guttersnipe and turned her into the most genteel of ladies.  There is no limit to what she can do now.

MRS. HIGGINS.  [Resigned]  There is no getting through to you, is there?

HIGGINS.  Yes, dear.  Now look, she’s approaching the duchess…

[Mrs. Higgins and the Professor continue to observe from the balcony.  As music continues to play and we have a sense of the passage of the evening, we hear the Westminster chimes toll 11:30 pm.  We see a spark of recognition and resignation in Eliza’s face.  She looks for and finds Colonel Pickering and after a brief exchange, takes his arm and ascends the stairwell stage left.]

MRS. HIGGINS.  Leaving so soon, Miss Doolittle.  I believe you have them eating out of the palm of your hand.

LIZA.  Yes.  Thank you.  I believe I could continue dancing well on into morning, but I feel I should return home.

PICKERING.  I tried to convince her to stay and enjoy herself, but she insisted.

LIZA.  It has been a wonderful evening, but I should be home before my fairy godmother returns.

HIGGINS.  Fairy godmother, what on earth are you…

MRS. HIGGINS.  It’s nothing dear.  Why don’t you take Miss Doolittle on home?  I’ll expect to hear from you in the morning.   And Miss Doolittle [almost an aside] … you were marvelous.

Eliza silently nods demurely in recognition.

HIGGINS.  If you insist.  Good night mother.

MRS. HIGGINS.  Good night, Henry.

PICKERING.  A pleasure as always, Mrs. Higgins.

HIGGINS, PICKERING, and LIZA all gather to leave.

LIZA.  [as they exit] It really was a wonderful dream.

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*Thou Fair Eliza, (c) Keeler, 2018

Thou Fair Eliza (c) - Act 2, Scene 1 Insert

With the copyright secured, and with the play not being produced this season, I'd like to take a couple of days to share a couple of my favorite inserts and revisions from the reworking of Pygmalion into Thou Fair Eliza*.

The first piece I'd like to share is an insert of a beat into scene 1 of Act 2.  The goal was to provide a greater insight into Eliza's mindset in this introduction to the Professor's world.  The challenge was to make the insert appear seamless, blending with Shaw's text and not drawing attention to the new material.

To that end, I've included a bit of the lead in and followup that originated in Shaw's text, along with the new insert.

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MRS. PEARCE [patiently] I think you'd better let me speak to the girl properly in private. I don't know that I can take charge of her or consent to the arrangement at all. Of course I know you don't mean her any harm; but when you get what you call interested in people's accents, you never think or care what may happen to them or you. Come with me, Eliza.

HIGGINS. That's all right. Thank you, Mrs. Pearce. Bundle her off to the bath-room.

LIZA [rising reluctantly and suspiciously] You're a great bully, you are. I won't stay here if I don't like. I won't let nobody wallop me. I never asked to go to Bucknam Palace, I didn't. I was never in trouble with the police, not me.

MRS. PEARCE. Don't answer back, girl. You don't understand the gentleman. Come with me. [She leads the way to the door, and holds it open for Eliza].

LIZA [as she goes out] Well, what I say is right. I won't go near the king, not if I'm going to have my head cut off. If I'd known what I was letting myself in for, I wouldn't have come here. I always been a good girl; and I never offered to say a word to him; and I don't owe him nothing; and I don't care; and I won't be put upon; and I have my feelings the same as anyone else—

[Mrs. Pearce and Eliza exit into the hallway. Pickering comes from the hearth to the chair and sits astride it with his arms on the back.  Main action and focus will be on Mrs. Pearce and Eliza, with dialogue below.]

MRS. PEARCE.  This way girl.  Keep up.  And do stop fidgeting. 

LIZA. Ma’am…?

MRS. PEARCE. [Slightly exasperated] My name is Mrs. Pearce.  You can address me as such.

LIZA.  Yes’em.  Mrs. Pearce, can I ask you a question?

MRS. PEARCE.  Yes….

LIZA. What kind of man is the professor?

MRS. PEARCE. What?

LIZA. You called him wicked.  Is he?

MRS. PEARCE.  The professor is a gentleman, I can assure you that.  I know not what he intends for your future, but you can be assured that no harm will come to you in this house, under my watch.

LIZA.  And Colonel Pickering?

MRS. PEARCE. I do not know the Colonel well, but from what I can observe, he appears the perfect gentleman.

LIZA. And how does the professor treat you?

MRS. PEARCE. Dear girl, the professor gives me no more regard than the phonograph in his study.  So long as I function properly and keep the house in order, we get along fine.

LIZA. Oh…

MRS. PEARCE. It would serve you well to remember that.  And if you have any issues, bring them to me first.  Are we clear?

LIZA. Yes’em

MRS. PEARCE.  Good.  Come now.  You best not go back into that study until you are spotless.


[Focus shifts back to Higgins and Pickering in the study, as Mrs. Pearce ushers Eliza offstage.]


PICKERING. Excuse the straight question, Higgins. Are you a man of good character where women are concerned?

HIGGINS [moodily] Have you ever met a man of good character where women are concerned?

PICKERING. Yes: very frequently.

HIGGINS [dogmatically, lifting himself on his hands to the level of the piano, and sitting on it with a bounce] Well, I haven't. I find that the moment I let a woman make friends with me, she becomes jealous, exacting, suspicious, and a damned nuisance. [He sits down on the bench at the keyboard]. So here I am, a confirmed old bachelor, and likely to remain so.

PICKERING [rising and standing over him gravely] Come, Higgins!  You know what I mean. If I'm to be in this business I shall feel responsible for that girl. I hope it's understood that no advantage is to be taken of her position.

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Tomorrow, I plan to share my favorite scene and addition to the text.

* Thou Fair Eliza, (c) Keeler, 2018.

(c)

After checking the mail yesterday, I'm pleased to report that I'm the proud owner of a United States Copyright. The Copyright Office accepted the registration on Thou Fair Eliza (c) Keeler, 2018.

Jamie will not be staging this adaptation of Pygmalion for one act this year, so we're exploring options.  She'd still like to be the first to stage, so we're evaluating when that might be and whether/when to share with other directors.  It's an exciting decision to be facing.

With this year's Tinsletown, Texas Christmas Chronicles story finished, the goal is now to turn to The End of Civil Discourse.  The overall plot is there, it just needs to be committed to paper.  Something to plan for the months ahead.

Playwright Life Updates

Wanted to pass along a couple of brief updates on the playwright process, with developments that have occurred regarding the first script.

First, a couple of weeks ago, Jamie completed the process of cutting Thou Fair Eliza into a one-act version and submitted the cutting to the University Interscholastic League for approval for use in this years One Act Play competition.  Thursday, September 20, 2018, Jamie received approval for the play.  This is a big step, particularly for an unpublished play.  Thankfully, she can proceed forward and does not have to select a new play.  It also means I'm considering going forward with a copyright on the one-act version, to have a preferred cutting protected (useful in Texas, particularly).

Secondly, we had noticed that Samuel French was licensing Pygmalion: A Romance in Five Acts by George Bernard Shaw, even though it did not have its own script, but was rather sending customers to a Penguin Books version.  Odd for the script issue and odd to have a license on a script with the base text in the public domain, unless they are licensing a specific revision later copyrighted.  I've been in contact with Samuel French, but am still waiting on an explanation of what their license purports to cover, specifically.  Their answer could propose a problem if they are claiming everything (improperly, though I might add).

Interesting developments all and the copyright application is still working its way through the system.  It's a waiting game, and I've never been too good at waiting patiently, virtue it may be.

I'll pass along more as I know it.

Pens Down and Registering - Developing

My birthday gift to myself is a present that I never imagined I would be achieving. I'm registering my adaptation of Pygmalion entitled Thou Fair Eliza for a copyright.  The registration is fairly cheap, but what it represents is very exciting to me.  With approval, it signifies that I can say I am a playwright.  An author with a copyright.  That's incredible and something I would have never imagined.

And even more, I'm excited to move on to the next project tentatively titled The End of Civil Discourse.  A three act play on the Buckley-Vidal debates from the 1968 Presidential campaign.  I envision this project in many ways similar to Thou Fair Eliza, one of adaptation in many ways.  Act Two would largely be the complete penultimate and tenth debate between the two at the Democratic National Convention.  Act Three would be at least a portion of the final debate and a bit of context following, showing where the two men went from there and how that debate shaped political commentary that followed.  Act One then becomes setup and a bit of cherry picking of the first nine debates to escalate tension.  The act of writing becomes one of selection and contextualizing more than creating whole cloth, but this particular play would require much more new material at the edges.  An interesting experiment.  Plus, attempting to add contextual lines for such erudite men will be a challenge.

The next idea beyond that is wholly original and much more time consuming.  But it is an idea that needs to get out.

There's still a little bit left with Thou Fair Eliza.  Now that the full five act version is completed, I now am working with Jamie to help condense it down into a one act version that could be performed in just under forty minutes for competition.  I have a feeling this will prove a more daunting challenge that the initial writing process.  It's going to be tough sifting through the original and added material to determine what's essential to carry the plot for a much abbreviated version.  Kill your darlings, indeed.

I started this process to solve a problem - to help adapt a script for a specific purpose.  But it seems now this may be an ongoing concern.

I'll keep you posted on how things are going.  I've got somewhere between three to eleven months for it to be finalized.

Why Adapt Pygmalion?

As I've indicated before, while I started this blog for many reasons, a primary driver was to get in hours of practice just writing.  Jamie is looking to do Pygmalion for one act play, but wanted to have an adaptation to address some of its shortcomings.  I have wanted to try play-writing before, and saw this opportunity as a challenge.

In doing so, the issue becomes why adapt Pygmalion at all?  What needs to be adjusted or updated for the play to freshen it for modern actors and audiences?   In my attempts, I've come to these few reasons:

1. Agency - The story of Pygmalion is firmly Henry Higgins' story, not Eliza's.  While most people would largely view My Fair Lady, the musical adaption, the other way around, the play Pygmalion hews firmly to the Pygmalion of myth, focusing on a "creator" who falls in love with his "creation."  Eliza, as a character in Pygmalion, is in many ways a prop.  For most of the play, she has things happen to her, not things that she causes or initiates.  This is partly due to point number two below relating to scenes that are missing, but also due to the era and social structures of the time when George Bernard Shaw was writing.  Much time in Pygmalion is spent discussing who is responsible or who will be responsible for Eliza.  Professor Higgins?  The Colonel?  Her father, Alfred Doolittle? Or Freddie, a suitor?  And while we do finally get to peer in to her psyche in Act Five with many great lines that she has, even her discussion of her future is couched in these terms.  Further, her thoughts are largely only revealed to show the impact they have on Henry.  Thus, a goal of this adaptation is to make this much more Eliza's story.  To put her in control of her fate and to show her contribution to her change.  The text is there in Shaw's original script.  It just needs to be embellished.
2. Show, Don't Tell - one of the greatest sins in visual storytelling is to tell the viewer something instead of showing them something.  To provide an information dump to bring the viewer up to speed on what happened, instead of letting them see it unfold.  This arises in largely missing necessary and desired scenes in Shaw's Pygmalion.  For instance, Shaw has no scene in which Eliza learns elocution.  There are no "Rain in Spain" type scenes in Pygmalion, though these are well remembered in My Fair Lady.  We see the effects and are told that the lessons happened, but we do not see it occur.  Likewise, the original version of the play did not have the ball.  Again, we saw the after effects and were told that it happened, but we did not see the ball itself.  This was added after a 1938 film, but can be omitted in different versions of the print run.  And while these scenes might not be absolutely necessary in the strictest sense, they are desirable for story flow.  So, we are looking to add this type of connective tissue back into the story.
3. Greater Roles for Women in General - one of the hardest things that Jamie and other school theater teachers often have to deal with is plays with sufficient strong female roles.  Most often in school theater, you have a greater number of female students that participate than male.  Yet, most of the great plays have a higher number of strong male roles compared to female.  Even in plays like Pygmalion which are often considered "female" plays, since the title character (and lead ostensibly) is female.  In Pygmalion, though, only Eliza and Mrs. Higgins could be considered great roles.  Mrs. Pearce, Mrs. Enysford-Hill, and Clara are present, but are small roles.  Our goal is to slightly enlarge these roles to make them greater reflections of parts of Eliza herself and to make them more integral to her development.

Hopefully, we can achieve these goals in a way that integrates into Shaw's text in a way that is not too obvious.  It's something I need to finish by the beginning of August, as we'll have to submit the play for approval by mid-August.  We'll let you know how it goes.

It's also a very interesting process, as I'm adapting the full play and keeping at the five acts. Jamie is going to have to take the end adaptation and cut it down into a one-act version.  It does not fully enter into the process as I'm changing and adding, but it is a consideration in the back of my mind.  A unique challenge.

From there, I'm itching to try my hand at adapting the Buckley-Vidal debates into a Frost/Nixon style play.  And who knows, after that, maybe something wholly original.

One line at a time.