Thursday, February 27, 2020

Jamie's Perspective - Part 2: My Life is a Puzzle

"There are times when Jude is working on a puzzle when two pieces look like they should fit together and he tries so hard to make them work. That sums up the last 9 months of our lives.

After deciding not to renew my contract at the high school and go down to becoming a single income family we quickly found ourselves reduced to a no income family. Mitch got the news right after our Disney family vacation celebrating his parents 40th wedding anniversary. Not exactly the best news to come back to but an answered prayer nonetheless.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.' Now is when our faith gets tested. What do we put our trust in? The income we were depending on or the belief that God has something better? I’d been praying for him to find a new job but this wasn’t the way I would’ve planned it. Thankfully the first couple of months we were getting my salary from the school since it runs August to August. We cut down to bare the minimum and made the decision to move in with my parents. Life has a way of keeping us humble. I would’ve never thought at 35 years old I’d be living under the same roof as mom and dad. This season of my life has been one filled with unknowns, trust, and faith. It’s very challenging when you struggle significantly with self-control to realize you can’t control the outcome. We went from one temp job to the next giving just enough to make our necessary payments. There were times when we didn’t know how we were going to pay for next weeks bills when another project would creep up at just the right time to cover us and keep us afloat. 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.'

We’ve gone from one hopeful prospect to another. He’s been the top candidate more times than I can count, many of which later came back to say they just decided not to hire for that position after all. What do you do when when your heart gets crushed time after time? When it’s the one you love most in the world taking the brunt of forceful blows? Rejection plays a huge role on our psyche.

Light at the end of the tunnel began to creep through at the start of the new year. Mitch was in the final running for three different positions. One in Austin. Yay, we’d be close to Mitch’s family. The cousins would be able to see each other more often. We could hang out with our siblings. Second position, work from home. Yay, we’d move somewhere close to Dallas putting us closer to my family. I could team up with my cousin in homeschooling our kids together. Both positions are win/win. Then the third position. Indianapolis. Where we know no one. Where we’re far away from our families.

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.' I’d love to say in this moment I did just that but I found myself negotiating with God. Have you ever done that? I knew where he was leading us to before the final interviews took place and I was mad. Why would you take us away from the people we love the most? I had to get to a place where I was willing to go wherever he may lead. Surrendering your desires to his can be one of the hardest things we do but the beauty of it is watching him mold your desires into his.

If you don’t know already, Mitch got the job in Indianapolis. He starts in two weeks. They have been nothing short of amazing. It’s interesting to see what happens when you let go. I can honestly say I am extremely excited about our upcoming adventure. I would’ve never thought a year ago we’d be Hoosiers but it looks that way. We’ve wanted to adopt and we knew wherever we were going the rest of our family is there. We’re looking forward to what lies ahead. Thankful for the time we’ve spent living in the present. Hopeful for what the future has in store. No matter what we’re still Texans at heart.

As Jude the puzzle master would say, 'This piece goes right here.'

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